Today is the anniversary of the due date for my baby. My child would be 1 today. I am seeing "signs" everywhere. A friend is going through a TFMR and expressing all of the feelings I remember so vividly, a post from me back in June of 2015 about my prenatal test coming back inconclusive was resurrected by someone last week who tagged me in the post because she's going through the same thing, and there's lots more that has happened over the last day. It feels like my baby is reaching out to tell me to not forget. And No one remembered today but me. But how could I forget?
I now have an 8-week-old girl and feel so very blessed. But that doesn't take the pain away from losing my first baby. And I feel guilty for loving my rainbow so very much. I don't know what I'm looking for by posting this. I guess I just needed to get it out, and to tell the universe I will never forget.
5 years TTC 2 c/p's 2 failed IUIs/1 cancelled IVF 1 failed IVF 1 failed FET BFP 12/1/15. We said goodbye to Tiny 1/4/16 Fresh cycle #3 2/16 8R/7M/5F BFP 5/12/16 We said goodbye to flutter on 5/27 and poprock on 5/28 BFP 8/30/16 We said goodbye to Samuel 10/3 (Trisomy 16) Moving on to Donor Embryos BFP 12/20/16 We said goodbye to Turtle 12/30
I'm so sorry you're feeling alone in this on such an important day. But as for loving your rainbow, I think loss let's is love them more, not less. You know better than anyone what it means to lose them so you love more deeply. At least that's how I feel. Maybe you feel the same.
So many hugs- I'm sorry no one reached out to you today. I don't have a rainbow yet, but I think @led 's comment about loving them more is spot on. I'd like to think if I get my rainbow, my loss has shown me not only are we stronger but we can love them more. 💛
Post by peaseblossom55 on Dec 5, 2016 19:04:47 GMT -5
Hugs to you murrt. I'm so sorry no one acknowledged your angel's birthday. In the few short weeks my rainbow has been here, I feel like my grief has changed for both of my angels. I am so worried that I will forget or every one will, or that everyone will think everything is ok now because I have a rainbow. It is so hard. Hugs.
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