Post by DanaScullyX on Jun 9, 2015 11:02:52 GMT -5
Hi everyone. I just don't know if I have a home on TCF anymore, but I wanted to come in here because I am just so hurt.
I found out yesterday that I am having my third early loss. I haven't started bleeding, and I think that makes me more angry than anything else. I know I am not pregnant anymore, why can't I just get this show on the road? Very few people IRL know about my journey so I have few resources. I got a new doctor just before this cycle, and she listened to me and tested progesterone and gave me supplements, but even so, my levels at the peak of the pregnancy hormones were too low. I hate being broken and I hate that I have now gotten pregnant three times without intervention, but I can't have my baby. All of the pregnancies and babies around me hurt so much. I don't know how to carry on.
Post by teenybenoit on Jun 9, 2015 11:24:16 GMT -5
Im in the same sorta boat as you. Just had my 3rd loss about a week and a half ago. I also begged for progesterone to be checked when we found out I was pregnant and the level was 7 I think it should be 20 at least, I was given the suppositories. This may also be why you haven't started bleeding yet, it delayed me for a day or two after stopping it. At my 9 week ultrasound there was no heart beat and I was measuring 6 weeks. Now and only now after 3 losses they will do blood work to see if they can determine a cause and I'm not sure even if they found something that I could go through being excited crazy anxious, hopeful and then hear or see the bad news yet again. I also feel broken or like I have failed somehow. I'm trying to stay positive but sometimes I just can't. Right now you need to be most gentle with yourself and you need to try and rest and take care of you. I found reading books helped me, and I'm set up to see a Counselor because my sadness and anger are effecting my day to day. I wish there was something I could say to make it better. Best I got is for you to feel ok to pm me to rant, cry, anything you need. Hugs again.
DanaScullyX, I am so sorry for your losses and even more sorry that you're in limbo. The anticipation of waiting when you know the ultimate outcome is so very hard. I wish there were magic words to make it better but there just isn't. I was in the same place you were after my 3rd loss and to be honest I couldn't begin to even think about moving onward until everything passed.
I know our initial reactions are that we are broken but try your best not to think that way.
The only advice I can give is that if you are still having a hard time once everything passes, is to go talk to someone. Losses are such a mind fuck and multiple ones can be even harder.
We are here whenever you want to vent or if you have any questions. *hugs*
Married 01-04-2013 *AMA* 40 in June 2015 **1-19-15 Childless, not by choice" 1st EDD- 12-02-13 MC 5/1/13 @4w6d 2nd EDD 11-13-14 MC 4/15/14: discovered 1st twin @5w 2nd twin @10w 3Rd BFP- 10-10-14 EDD 6/16/15: MC 10-16-14 @5w2d
Post by NatalieDavid on Jun 9, 2015 17:12:56 GMT -5
I am so sorry you are in limbo right now. It's under the worst circumstances that we find ourselves here but this place is so welcoming it's as close to home as we can get. I hope you will be able to find some peace during this difficult time.
I'm so sorry. I had a missed miscarriage and it took several days after it was confirmed for me to really start bleeding. I remember just wanting it to start so it could be over because I was pregnant, but I wasn't. Lots of love to you.
Post by fionnathehuman on Jun 20, 2015 9:43:45 GMT -5
I am sorry for your losses... I am too in the same boat, 3rd loss and waiting on my body to snap out of it. Just like teenybenoit I found out around 9w that baby stopped growing at 6w or so. progesterone is slowing the process too...
Post by CattyNattyRN on Jun 22, 2015 22:20:24 GMT -5
I am so sorry for each of your losses. We are here for you if you need us, and people have already given you great advice/support. Please don't get in the mindset of being "broken". This is such a hard journey, and thinking of all the things that caused this can just put you in such a worse place mentally. Sending you huge HUGS lady!
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